The significance of 8 months at our house.

Sawyer turned 8 months old last week.

When I was a whopping 8 months pregnant I specifically remember feeling huge, overnight. (I even Tweeted about it.)

I remember when I went in for my 35 week appointment with my OB, Dr. Cox, and while I uncomfortably laid on my back, he pressed on my belly feeling for Sawyer's head. He took out his measuring tape and measured not once, twice, but three times. He said, "Vanessa, you're measuring too big for 35 weeks. I'm ordering an ultrasound for you to make sure everything is okay."

Four hours later I watched the ultrasound tech check my babe's vital organs, double checking that his brain was all intact. She was happy to report his brain was intact. His heart looked healthy. His spine looked great.  His kidneys were present. His stomach was not. After an hour of me trying not to freak out, she quietly concludes, "I can't make any diagnoses, but it appears that your baby doesn't have a stomach. Either it doesn't show because it isn't there, or because something is preventing him from swallowing amniotic fluid." She then proceeded to refer me to University of Utah perinatology and then and there they made arrangements for me to see specialists within the coming week.

I walked out of the office completely numb. I kept my emotions in check in front of the other expecting moms in the lobby.

We got to the elevators.

I broke down and began sobbing. My mom hugged me.

She took me to her house and made me dinner as I sat and bawled at the kitchen table. Taylor was on his way home from work and came straight over. He and my brother gave me the sweetest blessing. We were all in tears. I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace, that everything would be fine.

I remember being irritated with the ultrasound tech. She had nothing but bad  news to give me. She should know better than to make a pregnant woman cry. It didn't sink in until later in the game that she saved my baby's life by not sparing my feelings. She did her job and because of her, I had a really fortunate experience, despite the reality of having a baby with a defect.

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I had a wellness check with Dr. Cox yesterday and took Sawyer with me. They couldn't believe how healthy he looked. The nurse kept commenting on how chill he was, as long as he had his binkie in his mouth.  Dr. Cox asked when I was planning baby no. 2. I just laughed. FUNNY!! I looked for the ultrasound tech to thank her, but she was working at the new hospital that day. Seriously, I appreciate her so very much.

At 8 months, Sawyer is a ball of energy. He is slightly attached to his mommy and daddy, but he will let others hold him as long as he can see me. The cutest thing in the world is putting Sawyer in sweatshirts and hoodies, especially in the morning when it's chilly. Between his puffy sleepy eyes and no distinction of a neck, I seriously want to gobble him up.

Developmentally, he is putting more food to his mouth voluntarily. We tried squash today and he took three spoon fulls without a fight. He likes to gnaw on cheese puffs during his feed and gummy worms/licorice on occasion, but it all eventually ends up on the floor, as I think Sawyer is already learning that our dog will take food out of his hand if he offers it.

It was funny because pretty much the night we got home from our follow-up appointments at Primary's, Sawyer reached for a toy and decided to get it by going onto his belly. He got it, then went back to his back. A week later, he just naturally rolled to his belly and pushed up like he was ready to crawl. I was excited to show his PT. She was thrilled! He isn't quite rolly-polly-olly all over the floor, but he is moving more and indicating that he's preparing to crawl in the next few months.

These two love to hang out all day

Favorite toy. He could play in his jumper all day

Actually did his hair today

Other than that, life is about the same. I'm finally getting back into a work-out regimen, since Dr. Branch from University of Utah hospital told me not to get fat. While the weather is still tolerable, I have been taking Sawyer on runs on the Portneuf greenway to soak in the last days of this Indian summer. I probably shouldn't run with a stroller meant for strolling, but as long as no one is looking, we're all good.

The Most Robust Esophageal Atresia Baby

That is what Dr. O'Gorman said when she assessed Sawyer during the Dysphagia clinic. And she is right!! All those who assessed him had nothing but positive comments and observations about our chunky Sawyer. The only changes we made were to do continuous feeding during the night, which means I get a break from 9 pm-3 am. I wake up at 6:00 am and feel well-rested enough to start his feed and actually stay awake.

It was comforting to hear repeatedly from some of the Dysphagia therapists/ RD that they've seen kids resist food and suddenly decide they want to eat and go to town. I really needed to hear that. As I type that, Sawyer is sucking on a gummy worm. Cautiously of course, but he hasn't thrown it across the room yet. 

The Urology appointment went as expected. His left teste has dropped some, but his right is still up there pretty far. As I understand it, we will watch them for a few months, and if they haven't dropped on their own, they will be surgically descended, hopefully in December before the new year.

The best part of the day was seeing you NICU nurses and staff! Sawyer remembers your faces and voices because he doesn't usually let just anyone hold him. I also fulfilled my oatmeal raisin cookie craving from the Rainbow Café for breakfast. Them cookies are good. Them cookies are awesome. Them cookies are delicious.


This is totally unrelated but there is a possibility that Taylor's job could take us to Salt Lake City or Washington or Tennessee. We'll know better in a month, so I don't want to get my hopes up, but it's all I've been thinking about for a week. I love Washington! But for Sawyer's sake, I'd love to stay close to Primary Children's and for my sake, close to the Rainbow Café.