Happy 6 months!!!

I got in the habit of writing Sawyer "letters" while he was in the hospital. Back when I had time to do sentimental stuff like that. I'm so glad I kept track of his growth and little milestones, as well as my feelings of helplessness and fear that he wouldn't know me or how much I loved him.

Dear Sawyer,

Today you are 6 months old. You are home from the hospital and are warming up to the fact that it's just me most of the time, instead of twenty pretty faces always peeking over your crib everyday. You miss back rubs from Brooke, lullabies from Lorraine, story time from Becky, and tummy time with Barb.

You sleep through the night but lucky mom gets to wake up every three hours to hook you up to your feeding pump. You are a good napper. You take 5 minute cat naps throughout the day, so mom has enough time to wash out your pump or check facebook or start an entry on blogger and forget about it until a week later and it's old news so she deletes it and starts over.

You laugh when I kiss your neck, grunt when you try to poop, cry when I sneeze too loudly, squeal when I lift you over my head, punch me in the face after you get a dose of Ativan, and love to sit in my lap all day with a binkie propped in your mouth while watching reruns of the Office.

I can lay you in your crib when I sense you're tired and you will easily drift off to sleep. I can put you in your swing, johnny jumper, or car seat and you don't have any melt downs.

Your hair is still dark and your eyes are navy blue. You weigh 15 lbs and measure 25" long. You get your 6 month immunizations this Friday. Your g-tube site is clean and your surgical scars are slowly fading into your skin. You're opposite from mom in that you don't devour food that's within reach. Instead, you are tricked into eating 5 drops of milk a couple times a day and that makes mom happy.

I love waking up to you every morning. I could gobble you up, but I resist. I don't begrudge waking up every few hours during the night. This is exactly what I want to be doing right now in my life. You are my heart and soul. You are my joy. We are so happy to have you in our family forever.

Love,

Mom